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Evil Steve
14th July 2009, 02:19 PM
From: http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-13228.html


Ricky Martin, Megan Fox, Lady Gaga, that Duncan bloke from Blue, isn't it about time that celebrities coming out as supposedly "bisexual" just admitted they were really gay?
If you find yourself nodding to the sentence above, I'm afraid you're part of the problem. Bisexuality exists, and it's curiously disbelieved. Which is strange, when you consider how easy it looks in the dictionary.
We live in an age of 'out' actors, politicians and musicians, even a few athletes and sportspeople. It's not as difficult as it used to be to find gay and lesbian people in the media these days. So why do so many people continue to deny the existence of bisexuals in the press and accuse celebrities of lying?
Across the internet it's easy to see people saying the same old things every time someone comes out as bisexual: "There's no such thing, admit you prefer men!" or "He's just doing this to appeal to the pink pound!", but I congratulate Duncan James (you know, that bloke from Blue) on having the courage to come out accurately. I don't know if he Googles himself much these days, but I hope he's not put off by the bizarre biphobia.
I am a bisexual man, and I use that word because I want to be honest. So if people want me to come out as "gay" then I'd need the word "homosexual" to mean "sexually attracted to both the same sex and the opposite sex".
Supposing it did and "heterosexual" meant "attracted to both" too? Then all gay men would simply be straight men who hadn't met the right woman - but surely that sort of argument died out a while ago, didn't it? No one campaigning against same-sex marriage or waving Bible verses at us at Pride is doing so because they think homosexuality is imaginary. But bisexuality is still regarded as some sort of unicorn, and bisexual men are still lambasted as supposedly being closeted gay men who haven't given up on their opposite sex attraction. Then again, maybe I just haven't met the wrong woman…
I don't say "I am bisexual" because I'm attracted to men, or to women, but because I'm not solely attracted to one gender. It's as simple as that and it's not impossible - why should it be? Sure, over time my partners have tended to be one gender over another, but I like both liver and lettuce - and no-one's insisting I should admit I'm really a vegetarian if I eat less of the former. Purple isn't really red any more than it's really blue and calling us liars, at the moment where we've gotten the courage to be honest and face the prejudice, is both insulting and patronising.
I have met hundreds of bisexuals and when the question of being out as bi on the gay scene comes up, everyone agrees: being denied a voice is bad enough but being denied our existence is appalling.
If you don't like Mozart, it doesn't mean some other people are lying when they say they really do. Some people really like aubergines, some people really enjoyed cross-country running at school - some people really do enjoy the things you don't. Some people really are bisexual.
The definition is easy, it's the prejudice that's hard.

Marcus Morgan is the co-ordinator of The Bisexual Index, a UK bisexual activist group. Read more about them, and bisexuality at www.bisexualindex.org.uk



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Love this piece, Biphobia is something have witness LOADS, especially here in limerick (that may be because i have more Bi friends here than i do in any other major city, so please note im NOT having a go at JUST people from limerick)

Comments, thoughts etc?

LimkMike
14th July 2009, 03:39 PM
bi now gay later :)

DaisyD
14th July 2009, 04:34 PM
bi now gay later :)

LOL

I love it....

I agree though, bisexuals do get a tough time...but it does exist...I would consider myself 90% gay, 10% women. I have been with women, I have been with men (sexually and otherwise) and think I've been with men so long...I might as well stay put for now...I'm comfortable but I'm also prone to scoring women! LOL :p

Evil Steve
14th July 2009, 04:42 PM
bi now gay later :)

Point in case.

I have been slagged for having "Straight" moments, like im some traitor to the cause.

Its bullshit.

As a community we are all clamoring for equality and freak when we are insulted in the press or other media.
yet be little the B in our LGBT .

abydos6
14th July 2009, 04:42 PM
Okay lads and lassies, bi woman here wishing to comment on this article.

Agreed, bi's are given a bad rep and considered to be sitting on the fence or not facing up to their homosexuality...Which as a bi woman, who is constantly slagged off for being bi, personally pisses me off no end, tho i do tend to smile, and let it go...I'm just that bloody polite.

As I said, I constantly get slagged off as i live with and am getting hand fasted to my partner, a woman. I am as I have stated before a woman centered bi woman, which means that even though I am monogamous, and so in love with my female partner I am capable of being aroused by a fine bit of stuff in the male package...it don't mean that I'm going to drop my mrs and run off with them.

Oh and being bisexual doesn't mean that I'm not gay, or if I was dating a guy that I would be straight or heterosexual, no bloody way, I'd still be bi, still be gay. It's about time that our community not only in limerick, not only in Ireland but the rest of the world got of their high horse and accepted that we do indeed exist and it isn't a phase we're going through, to be dropped the minute someone of the opposite, or same sex happens along.

Thing is, for a quiet life, and because I'm blue in the face from trying to explain what being bi actually means, and from the slagging, I just smile and let it go, or laugh...while inside I'm fuming over myself and my 'identity' not being accepted or being made fun off. I have been with men (three kids later) and women, I like both, I find both very attractive, but right now I am very, very much into my dear lady, so accept me as my bi self, and leave the petty comments and slagging at home.

I've had enough!

thanks Steve for the article.

abydos6
14th July 2009, 04:44 PM
Steve, sweetheart, I hereby publicly want to apologize for slagging you off. I know you are definatly a gay bear cub and not bi or straight... :o

fada
14th July 2009, 04:51 PM
I would Have to agree with Aby's point. And in the same breath apologise to her... I shall refrain from slagging you on that matter in the future. I apologise for any hurt/anger I may have caused by slagging in the past.

I have many bi friends, and I understand that bisexuality exists, and that bisexuals all too often get generalised into the gay and lesbian category.

I would like to congratulate Duncan on coming out publicly as a Bi man, and for his strong defence of the Bi members of our community. All jokes aside, the community needs more people like him and Aby to take a stand and change attitudes towards Bi people.

Evil Steve
14th July 2009, 04:52 PM
Steve, sweetheart, I hereby publicly want to apologize for slagging you off. I know you are definatly a gay bear cub and not bi or straight... :o

:rolleyes:

Bless you mommie lesbian.

I shall endeavor to keep my slagging.... the same hehehe

abydos6
14th July 2009, 04:56 PM
I love you too steve, even with your 'moments' lol...some things are hard to change, and I guess I will just have to keep trying. Thanks to fada too. love and hugs.

StarBoi
16th July 2009, 12:07 PM
cool comments there aby :) and just like you ill give mine,

im a bi guy who like aby is in a long term relationship. this does not mean im gay. im fed up of hearing the "bi now gay later" line or "well your dating a guy so your gay". but the one that really gets to me is "its just a phase will you just pick one already". bisexuality is a real thing and each time i hear these yeah i smile, i play along but it gets old people and at times im fuming inside having to state just cause im with a guy, does not mean im gay. the best way i can put this is, everyone says homosexuality is not a choice, nor is being heterosexual. my parents did not tick a box for my sexuailty on my birth cert, i didnt have to pick boys or girls when i started school. i was born the way i am, and i was born me. im sure if people did have a choice many people would choose the easier way of life. but why do bisexuals not fit into this category. if your gay you didnt choose to be it, you were simply born that way and hell most gay people will argue that point when it comes down to nature vs nurture. so why are bisexuals forced to choose a gender. just like being born a lesbian, being born gay, we were born bisexual - its not because we are greedy but its just who we are and im damn proud of it!

its great to see people in the media coming out as bisexual and fair play to duncan(he was the best looking one), there are more and more people in the media coming out as bisexual which is great but when people keep bringing back the fact that "its just a phase" or "hes just greedy and too scared to come out as gay", well then this is prejudice. were all for equality but than lets show it to a minority within a minority. i mean when graham norton came out did people just say "its just a phase" or "hes really bisexual, hes just too afraid to admit it". we do exist and biphobia is defo a problem in our community!